Should I Text My Ex Happy Birthday What The Experts Say

If you’re trying to use their birthday as an “in” to strike up a long conversation, there are better options. Really, almost any other day is a better time for a heart-to-heart. For now, just let them enjoy their birthday plans. [2] X Research source

If they aren’t interested in reconnecting with you, your text won’t be welcome. Worst-case scenario? You could give off stalkerish vibes, and that’s the LAST thing you want. [4] X Research source Even if they’re missing you too, a text could still throw off their day. Instead of focusing on celebrating, they’re now dissecting your message word by word, trying to figure out what it really means.

If you’re texting to make it clear that everything’s cool between you, a happy birthday message might send the wrong message. Your ex will wonder why you’re bothering to reach out if you’re really over them. [6] X Research source If you feel the need to prove you’re over the relationship, you might not be quite as over it as you think. [7] X Research source That’s okay, healing from a breakup takes time. Meanwhile, resist the urge to message them. [8] X Research source

If they’re engaged, can you truly be happy for them? And what if–heaven forbid–Fido crossed the rainbow bridge to that big dog park in the sky? For your own emotional well-being, some questions might be better left unanswered.

There’s a chance that they’ll take the bait and “happy birthday” will lead to “happy hookup. ” But wow, things are going to get complicated after that. Unless you’re also in the mood for drama, it might be best to skip the HBD text. Of course, there’s also a chance that your text will just upset them. If that happens, they’ll probably share “WTH?!” screenshots with all their friends, landing you right in the middle of–yep, you guessed it–drama.

Instead of turning to your ex for healing, look inward, learn to validate yourself, and strive to make peace with the situation. [12] X Research source Focus on finding meaning instead of closure. What lessons have you learned from the experience? Have you become wiser or more resilient? Have you discovered truths about who you are and what you want?[13] X Research source If you’re struggling to process the end of your relationship, therapy can help. A mental health professionals can offer non-judgmental support as you work through your feelings in a productive way. [14] X Research source

In this scenario, a text that you see as completely neutral might be misinterpreted as romantic interest. If you text your ex to let them know you’re thinking about them on their birthday, you might be leading them on unintentionally . [16] X Research source

And if you’re secretly hoping they have a rotten day? Feeling upset with them is perfectly normal, but hitting send won’t make you feel better. You’re not a vindictive person, you’ve just been badly hurt. [19] X Research source

Keep it low-key by mentioning your kiddos by name: “_____ and I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. We hope it’s a great one!”

There’s no good reason to send them a direct message. Handle it the same way you would with any random acquaintance on Facebook: by posting a generic birthday message on their wall. For what it’s worth, research shows that simply keeping your ex as a Facebook friend is linked to less personal growth. Maybe it’s time to cut ties there, too?[26] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source

If they respond with “thanks,” don’t follow up with questions in an attempt to draw them in. Just let that be the end of the exchange. [29] X Research source